


Blessed with Beauty and Rage

by MelisandreStark



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Belos being a bitch, Bickering, Consumption of Pancakes in a Cursed Manner, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Gen, eda is a Good Sister, keep that in mind, written pre agony of a witch so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-08-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:36:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,236
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26176570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelisandreStark/pseuds/MelisandreStark
Summary: All Lilith wants to do is finish the potion the Emperor asked her to make and go to bed. But when something goes wrong, and she has to run for Eda for help, will this mean change for her future--and her past?
Relationships: Amity Blight & Lilith Clawthorne, Eda Clawthorne & Lilith Clawthorne
Comments: 22
Kudos: 171





	Blessed with Beauty and Rage

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote a comic on tumblr which is the same premise and decided to write out properly. hope you enjoy!

Lilith groaned as her potion came up with purple smoke, opposed to the needed red.

This shouldn’t be that difficult, really—she still remembers watching Edalyn make this particular brew when they were just children but, then again, her sister had always been somewhat of a prodigy when it comes to potions—or, at least, she always had a certain delicate touch that Lilith lacks.

It’s not that Lilith is _bad_ at potions—it _was_ her track at school after all—but she’s just very…out of practice. She’s always found the practice tedious.

It’s a memory potion, upon the request of the Emperor, that she’s brewing tonight. It’s not often that he requests an object from her specifically so it’s important that she get this right even if it takes her all night, even though her head is starting to pound from the fumes. With a sigh, Lilith draws a spell circle and the failed potion dissipates into nothing, giving her the room to start again.

_Chopped treeslug brain._ Lilith pinches the little brain with the tip of her nails and drops it on the table, slicing it as thinly as she can with her laboured eyesight. That done, she drops the slices into the cauldron which sizzles as soon as they hit the side and then pours half a litre of juiced salamander eyes on top.

A small, predominantly unaddressed, part of herself wonders why the Emperor would need a memory potion—especially such a potent brew as this one—and why he would come to _her_ rather than any of the other better qualified potioneers in the coven. Though, she equally supposes, there must be a _reason_ he did so—perhaps secrecy in this matter, and she is the only one he trusts enough—ultimately, it’s not her place to question anything he does.

Squeezing a handful of throatblossom flowers over the top Lilith begins to tentatively stir her concoction. It’s _starting_ to look like it should, the texture is thickening like it’s supposed to and if she keeps this up it should turn the desired red by the end.

Lilith shakes a little powder made from fungleberry leaves into it, not so much that it would become unstable but enough that it should increase the potency significantly. She then stirs anticlockwise again, wrinkling her nose at the unfortunate smell.

For a reason she doesn’t quite understand, her mind flicks to Amity. Before she started this potion, she’d been having one of her relatively regular sessions with her young protégé back at Hexside. As ever she had done very well on all her papers but there was something a little…off about her. Lilith had asked if she was alright when she entered but fears it may have come across a little more customary than genuinely caring. She _does_ care about Amity; she cares about her a lot though fears she may have lost some of her trust after everything that happened at the covention.

_Deservedly_ lost some of her trust, granted. She regrets exploiting Amity’s powers like that even if it had meant losing to Eda’s cheating. It’s easy to let their competition cloud her judgement about more important things, and hopefully it won’t be a mistake she makes again.

She makes a mental note to conjure up a _proper_ apology next time she sees her, which should be tomorrow evening. She never has been good at apologies, but Amity of all people most definitely deserves one.

Drawing her focus back to the potion, Lilith spins a spell circle with her index finger and lets it sink into the liquid, focussing her energy entirely on building enough raw energy to build the spell up to the standard required. Her fingers curl under the pressure of doing this for the fifth time that night but she knows if she doesn’t get it right soon, she’ll have drained herself completely. Letting the Emperor down like that again…would be unthinkable.

Her position with him is precarious enough as it is with all the Eda business, and she cannot fathom giving him another reason to be disappointed with her.

Pain starts to build up in her arms but she ignores it, pain hardly something she’s unfamiliar with, straining to keep the connection until the levels are just right and—

_Fuck._

Lilith growls in frustration as the potion overheats and bubbles over, a peculiar green steam this time rather than the desires red. She curses again, stepping away and looking for a napkin to mop it up before she can start again. 

She supposes this time she put too much power into it—this draught will bring back forgotten memories rather than block them out, and the Emperor will have no use for that.

A deep part of Lilith does question the morality of mind-wiping as a form of discipline though, as she often tells herself, the Emperor is a grand and supreme force that mere witches like herself aren’t necessarily supposed to understand. If he does so, it is always with reason. He carries out the will of the titan.

Lilith pulls a tea towel from a kitchen drawer and wipes the edge of her counter with it, before dropping it and wiping what spilt onto the floor with her foot. There’s no staining from the looks of it, so at least that’s good.

The witch picks up the cauldron by its handles with the intention of just throwing it all out but feels herself stop as she starts to breathe in the fumes. There’s something…alluring about this potion, one she’s never had any personal contact with before. Knowing she’ll probably regret it, Lilith puts the cooling potion back on the counter and bites her lip.

The responsible thing to do would be to bottle some for the future, just in case, right? She’s been in many a magical accident before, and it’s probably best to take precautions just in case something memory related happens in the future. Lilith pulls a couple of clear vials from her drawer and fills them up carefully before corking the lids and putting them on the side, making a mental note to add them to her stores later. She’s not an excellent potioneer by any means, but this one seems to be of very good quality despite it not being the one she intended to make, so if nothing else it’ll serve as a little memento of pride.

She picks the cauldron back up and heads back to the sink prepared to pour it out when something at the back of her mind tugs at her again. Lilith looks into the cauldron of green liquid and blinks heavily in surprise—the potion seems to be moving somehow, morphing into…

Lilith jumps back and almost drops it as she sees her own reflection in the pot—but not her as she is, but her as she _was_ almost fifteen years ago.

Leaning back against the counter for support, Lilith blinks rapidly to make sure she’s not hallucinating before realising that, yes, she _is,_ in fact, staring into her own eyes. Is this some sort of dark potion, or illusionary? It certainly didn’t say so in the book.

_It’s a memory potion, it’s…probably just projecting,_ she tells herself.

_D r i n k._

Drinking any potion that you don’t need is never a good idea, but for whatever reason Lilith’s mind is telling her to do just that. She can’t imagine why, since no one’s ever used the forgetting potion on her…or well, not that she can remember. Lilith supposes that if someone had wiped her mind of something then it’s not like she’s have any recollection, but she’s the head of the emperor’s coven—no one would _dare._ The only witch who holds a candle to her power wise is Eda, and while her sister is not opposed to foul play, memories aren’t anything she’d _ever_ tamper with.

Against her better instincts, Lilith puts the cauldron back down and takes a spoon from the draw underneath, swiping some into her mouth before she can change her mind.

She then starts to cough in disgust, because she really should have anticipated it would taste like slug brain.

Swallowing thickly and getting a glass of water to clear her mouth out, Lilith pulls a face and this time has no problem throwing the rest of the potion out. Not for the first time, she finds herself mildly relieved that she lives alone since having someone witness that debacle would have been a little humiliating.

The good news is that the potion seems to have had no effect on her, so she can get back to working on the potion for the Emperor.

This lack of effect lasts up until five minutes after she, finally, completes the memory potion the way requested, and she heads upstairs to get some sleep. The manor of her residence is big, enormous really, and not designed for a single resident but after her parents died Lilith didn’t have the heart to abandon it completely so has stayed. Her own room, which was once the master bedroom, is conveniently at the end of the corridor near the stairs so she doesn’t need to venture very far. She herself never goes into any of the other rooms on the top floor.

The door to her bedroom’s right is ajar.

Lilith frowns, looking around. The cleaners came and went this morning and she leaves specific instructions to leave all doors closed because she’d rather avoid any unwanted trips down memory lane, and it certainly couldn’t have been anyone else since she hasn’t been upstairs since she got home and the protection spells around the manor are almost unnecessarily strong.

(Her parents became very paranoid after Eda curse came about, partly that someone might attempt to hurt one of their daughters again but even more so that Eda’s cursed form might escape, and their world would know their shame).

Lilith goes to close the door and think nothing more of it but is startled by the sound of light wind whistling through the windows. The cleaners must have left that open, too. With a sigh, Lilith pushes the door open to go and close it—

And is met with something that _really shouldn’t be there._

The witch sprints away from the room in a rush, leaving the door swung open and clattering against the wall beside it. She runs into her bedroom, conjuring her staff and leaping onto it right out of the window.

* * *

She arrives at the owl house before she realises that’s where she’s going.

Eda is the most wanted criminal on the Boiling Isles and maybe that’s why she needs to be here—to be with someone she can speak freely with, someone she trusts not to sell her out to the Emperor for misconduct.

Or maybe it’s because she wants her sister to give her a hug and tell her it’s going to be okay. Lilith may be the eldest, but there was never much in it—Eda was the one who protected _her_ and not the other way around. Edalyn was always the strong one.

As it happens, Eda and her human are outside as she lands just by the house in the forest, seemingly observing a bizarre collection of mushrooms. Lilith is probably interrupting something, but she doesn’t particularly care, brushing some fallen strands of hair away from her eyes and marching towards them with an angry strut that could quite easily be misinterpreted.

She is not angry at them at all; she is angry at herself.

Eda seems to sense her before she sees her and spins on her heel, eyes widening in surprise. “What hole did you crawl up from?”

“ _Eda._ ” It comes out far breathier, far more _desperate_ than she intends. Eda looks even more surprised than before and blinks a few times.

“Luz, go inside and get an early night. I think me and my sister might have something to talk about.” Eda says, and the human dutifully does as she’s told. Absently, Lilith is surprised that any student of Eda’s is that compliant though knows she may be being a bit quick to judge the girl—she’s heard from Amity that she has, in fact, successfully been able to perform magic in her own unique way.

_Amity._

The face of her apprentice comes into her mind and Lilith visibly winces, her stomach seizing up, and she leans against her staff as a wave of nausea washes over her. Eda is right by her side, a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Lily!” She exclaims, biting her lip. “Are you sick or something?”

Lilith swallows. “No, I—” She finds her mind reeling blank. “I just—”

“Come inside. I’ll make some tea.” Eda says, looping her arm under Lilith’s to support her. This really shouldn’t be how it goes—Lilith is the elder sister, she’s the leader of the most powerful coven on the Boiling Isles, she’s not the one who was _cursed_ as a child damnit but somehow Eda always ends up being the crutch. Another wave of nausea hits her at the thought, and she grimaces at the bile rising in her throat, upset by the thought and yet unable to do anything about it.

Eda helps her to the sofa without a word—the human and the demon nowhere to be seen—going to boil some water. Lilith takes the time to compose herself, forcing herself to breathe in and out deeply through her nose to try and dispel the nausea that’s plaguing her. The dizziness starts to dissipate, and she breathes in again—she needs to look at what happened from a logical, careful perspective.

Eda returns with two chipped mugs of tea and Lilith keeps her eyes trained on the floor, hands neatly folded in her lap. She doesn’t have the courage to look up right now.

After what feels like an eternity of silence Eda—who has taken a seat on the sofa beside her—says, “What are you doing here?”

Lilith almost wants to laugh. She’s here because she didn’t know where else to go, because isn’t this a place for those who have no one? She’s here because she’s needed her family for the longest time and having her sister so close yet out of reach is _agony_ , because she just wants a hug, damnit, and she hasn’t had one in the longest time.

She says none of this, biting her lip and forcing herself to look up. “If I told you this was a personal visit, would you believe me?”

Eda narrows her eyes ever so slightly. “No, I wouldn’t. You’ve never come to see us like this before, Lily, why now?”

Lilith doesn’t miss the fact that she says ‘ _us’_ and not _‘me’_ as if she has any interest in seeing the demon or the human. That, she supposes, is the nature of family—and Eda has a family now, as mismatched as they are, while Lilith stalks the halls of her childhood home alone and lost.

She swallows, her hands fiddling with each other. “I was making a potion. A potion for the Emperor.” It’s like she’s trying to explain it more to herself than to Edalyn, but it’s clear her sister is listening intently anyway. “A memory potion. Except…I got it wrong—or, right?—in that one of my brews was the type that _restores_ memories rather than shielding them.”

“That’s not an easy mistake to make.” Eda says, lifting one leg to cross over the other. “Though I suppose you never were quite as good as potions as the parents liked to brag, eh, Lily?”

Lilith knows she’s just trying to lighten the mood but it’s not helping so she ignores her. “I drank some. I…don’t know why, I just—I just did. And nothing happened at first, because there’s nothing I need to remember except when I went upstairs, I saw—I saw—”

“What did you see?” Eda’s tone is uncharacteristically soft.

The blue haired woman’s eyes widen, and she sits up, looking to her sister. “I want you to help me kill the Emperor.”

Eda blanches slightly and shakes her head in disbelief. “You _what?”_ Lilith sits silently, a little surprised at her own words too, but evidently not quite on Eda’s level of sheer shock. “ _You,_ miss prissy Emperor’s wife, wants me to help you—you _want to ki—”_

“I’m not his wife.” She snaps.

“That’s not what is said in all your schoolbooks on the back cover.” Eda points an accusing finger at her, the image of ‘Empress Lilith’ in cursive scrawl with a heart around it coming to mind.

Lilith feels her muscles tense. “This isn’t—I’m not—” She groans at her own inability to conjure coherent words and starts to massage her fingers into her temples. “The _memory_ potion—I drank some, I told you, and I _remembered_ something. Something…something important—something he _stole_ from me. And no one, _no one,_ gets to steal from me—gets to treat me like that, not even him. _No one.”_

Eda isn’t sure exactly what she’s talking about, she was gone from Lilith’s life just before her elder sister turned twenty and popped up here and there but was never stable. She’s just assumed that Lilith’s been doing the same monotone crap for past fifteen years—can’t imagine her doing something so bad that the emperor would need to wipe it from her mind completely.

It’s also worth noting, she thinks absently, that memory wiping potions are _supposed_ to be illegal. Still, she supposes Belos was always going to get away with it if no one can remember him using them except devout idiots like Lilith—or, like Lilith was until about ten minutes ago apparently.

“Lily…” Eda sucks in a breath. “Look, I’m not gonna sit here and pretend I know what you’re talking about ‘cause I don’t, but I think you need to maybe just take a little time to stew in whatever the memory spell showed you before you start enacting any crazy murder plans, okay?”

Lilith’s canines pierce her lip and a little blood mixes with her almost black lipstick. “I did _everything_ for him, Eda. _Everything._ I’ve spent almost half my life doing nothing, _thinking_ of nothing but him and…I didn’t have choice. I’ve been _so blind…_ I’m so stupid!” Lilith curls in on herself and covers her face in her hands, mostly because she doesn’t want Eda to see the tears that have started to roll down her cheeks.

Her sister is pensive for a moment, eyes trained on the cooling tea in front of them as she tries to think of response. She must think Lilith so _stupid,_ Eda’s life is unorthodox and unappealing for someone like Lilith but it’s borne of a clarity she herself lacks, it’s _true_ and authentically Eda—Lilith has been cowering in the shadow of a higher power, deluded into believing it benevolent, loosing herself every minute it went on.

A choked sob escapes her, and Eda looks up, hesitantly pulling her sister to chest and then holding her tighter as Lilith clings to her like a lifeline, her repressed tears blossoming into cries of pain in the same place she always seems to end up.

Lilith may be the elder sister, bit Eda’s always been the wiser one even if she doesn’t like to show it.

“Stay the night.” Eda says, not letting her go. “Stay the night, and we’ll talk again once you’ve had a good night’s sleep, okay?”

Lilith hurriedly nods, accepting a tissue from her sister to wipe her nose and eyes as she pulls away. “I’m sorry. Thank you.”

Eda’s smile is terse and forced. “Don’t thank me yet, Lily. I’m always intrigued by your murder propositions but haven’t agreed yet—and you staying over fully comes with the condition of you wearing pyjamas of my choice.”

A little hysterically, Lilith chokes out a laugh. “Are they all as horrendous as the kind you’re wearing now?”

A real smile, this time. “Yep! They’re mostly pink too, which might actually be the _worst_ colour on you.”

* * *

Memories lost don’t return in one, singular rush—though given the amount Lilith lost, it certainly feels like that to start with. It’s more of a slow trickle triggered by familiar settings or faces now that her mind is susceptible to them again, like a novel of short stories that gets more intense the more of them you read.

Lilith falls asleep on lumpy mattress a few feet away from her sister’s nest, her body curled up uncomfortably underneath her makeshift blanket as her sleeping self struggles to decipher between dream and memory.

It’s the room she walked into back home that triggered all of this. It used to just be a guest room—her and Eda’s childhood bedrooms being further down the corridor—with a set of drawers, bed and little else. Would have been collecting dust if not for the cleaners. It’s nothing important—or at least it wasn’t, not until she opened the door and saw what it _had_ been just under fourteen years ago.

It was an illusion of time, and she knows if she went back to the house now it would seem as plain as it did this morning, but in that small moment she had seen the grey walls painted purple with silver stars, the bed a wooden crib with a glass and silver mobile of stars and demons hanging over it.

Lilith has no children herself, though has always had a soft spot for them—she’s a teacher, she sort of has to like their company to an extent—though always imagined as a child she’d get around to having some of her own at some point. She’s almost thirty eight now with no partner (not that, really, she’d need one) to speak of so has made her peace with the fact that her children will come in the form of her students rather than any biological relation, but now…

Lilith rolls over in her sleep, face creasing in discomfort. God, she wasn’t _made_ for this sort of emotional turmoil—she’s a good worker, organised and clever and careful but when it comes to personal matters, she just…

Well, she just stops functioning properly. Were it anyone else she would have caught Eda months ago and brought her into the Emperor’s coven or shipped her to the conformitorium but her personal feelings get in the way and, well, Eda’s still walking very much free. That has turned out to be a very good thing, but it still proves her inability to function properly once she fails to be indifferent.

She finds herself in the guest room—the _nursery_ —hunched over the empty crib, her breath rattling painfully in the air around her. Something is deeply, innately missing—deeply _wrong_ and she can pinpoint it, until she can’t, and there’s a hand yanking her to the ground, a gloved hand is holding her nose and forcing her mouth open—

Belos’ mask flashes before her eyes, impassive yet taunting somehow. “Lilith…” He murmurs, hand curling towards her face—

Lilith shoots up, her face drenched in sweat and her shoulders heaving as she breathes rapidly, eyes darting around nervously—she _saw_ Belos, he was coming towards her, and—

“Oh, God, Lilith you’re going mad.” She mutters to herself, burying her face in her hands. Her head is panging, and she probably shouldn’t have sat up so quickly because she’s feeling it her back now but she’s awake and _he’s_ not here, and…she blinks, looking around.

And she’s at her sister’s.

A knock at the door startles her and the door swings open before she can respond, Eda swinging her head around the frame. “I heard some noise and figured you were awake. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She says, cracking her fingers slowly. “Just…surprised at not waking up in my own bed, that’s all.”

Eda frowns, stepping into the room properly and closing the door behind her. “You’re a terrible liar, Lily.”

Lilith sighs, rubbing her eyes with her hand and looking into her lap. “It was just a dream. Or a memory. It’s hard to tell now…everything’s so clouded.”

The Owl Lady moves to sit by her sister on the uneven mattress, gently putting a hand on her covered knee. “Can you…tell me about it? About what you saw—or remembered? I want to help you, Lily.”

Lilith sighs. “I don’t know, Eda…”

“Please, Lily.” She brings her hand up to Lilith’s cheek, brushes the pad of her thumb over her skin gently. “Trust me?”

Lilith feels herself lean into the warmth of her sister’s hand and lets out a deep sigh. It’s been so long since she’s been—since she’s _wanted_ to be near Eda properly and, now, she is she can’t help but feel she should have bridged the gap long ago. When she thinks of her sister it’s easy to remember the relentless pranks and teasing—how she used to slip colour changing potions into her juice so she’d have to go to school purple, how she would rope Lilith into her misdemeanours which ended up with them both in detention. It’s easy to skip over how Eda would come into her bedroom every time she had a nightmare, how she would always bake her a cake with far too much icing on it for her birthday, how they’d hide together in the garden when they’re parents were angry.

It’s easy to forget the little orange haired girl who made Hexside her warzone for years, and annoyed Lilith endlessly, but who she loves perhaps more than anyone else in the world.

The navy haired witch lets out a shaky breath and nods her head. “Okay. I’ll tell you what I can remember but I— _please,_ Eda, you must keep all of this to yourself.”

“I promise.” Eda tells, and sounds like she genuinely means it. As girls Lilith’s sister had broken a fair share of her promises, and vice versa, but Lilith reminds herself that they’re adults now, they’ve matured (in Eda’s case only a little bit) and she _should_ keep her word.

Lilith closes her eyes and puts her hands on her thighs. “In my memories I’m maybe 23. You were off doing…whatever it is you were doing, at the time, and mother and father had passed away. I had been promoted to head of the coven when I was 21—so, two years before.” She swallows, not opening her eyes. “A lot of people didn’t think I would be able to do it, because I was the youngest ever to rise that high, but I was—I _am_ good at my job. I’m the _best_ —I was thriving, the emperor had faith in me, and I had absolute faith in him.

“In my free time—which, is admittedly not a lot—I had a few…dalliances, we’ll say, and some carelessness on my behalf led to me conceiving a child.” Eda sucks in a breath, surprised. “I didn’t _intend_ to but once I did, I knew I wanted to keep it. I had been without any family for a while and I…” She trails off. “My baby was so, _so_ wanted.”

Lilith can’t quite remember the details of how exactly she figured out that she was pregnant, nor does she have any clue who the father is, but imagines it’ll come to her with time. “But…I can’t ever remember telling anyone about it,” She continues. “I wore a lot of loose clothing to start with, and by the end was conjuring full illusions to hide my condition. Even after I had the baby, and remember taking care of them for a while, it was never public knowledge. Not because I was _ashamed_ or anything but, rather…it was a separate part of my life, I think. There’s my work, and my family, and I…dislike mixing the two.”

“You must hate your assignment to capture me, then.” Eda notes.

“Yes.” Lilith purses her lips ever so slightly. “I just –when my personal life, my family, mixes with my work I tend to…struggle.”

Eda smiles sympathetically. “It makes sense. Can I ask one last question?” Lilith nods. “Do you have any clue what happened to the baby, after…well, you know?”

The elder witch breathes in deeply through her nose. “I think so. I’m not a hundred percent sure but…the name is hardly common, and I know of a child with it who is the age she would have to be to be mine.”

Eda looks at her, as if asking her to continue without opening her mouth. Lilith looks up at her with a strained expression, willing her eyes not to tear up again. “Her name was Amity.”

* * *

True to her word, Eda doesn’t ask any more questions and takes her downstairs where the scent of something sweet permeates in the air. “I think Luz is making pancakes,” Eda says, though that word means nothing to Lilith. She assumes it’s some sort of human food.

“Are ‘pancakes’ nice?”

“Oh, they’re the _best_ —if anything can cheer you up, Luz’s pancakes will.” Eda assures her. Lilith very much doubts that but a gentle rumble in her stomach at the smell is making her very inclined to try. Lilith follows her sister into the kitchen area where the demon is already wolfing down a fluffy looking circle with his bare hands. “King what did I tell you about not getting the syrup everywhere?” Eda sighs, sliding down into a seat beside him. Lilith, feeling a little awkward, follows suit.

“That I have to clean it myself this time.” King groans, reluctantly being more careful.

“Good morning!” Luz smiles at Lilith as if they were familiar, and it surprises her. “This next one is yours, if you want it—you like the American pancakes, right?”

“She hasn’t got a clue what that is, kid.” Eda answers for her since she’s clearly struggling to come up with an answer herself. “But yes, she’ll like it. It’s got sugar in it.”

Lilith rolls her eyes. “That’s a little rich coming from you.” She murmurs.

“Here you go!” Luz tilts the pan and the pancake slides onto Lilith’s plate. “I hope you like it!”

Lilith blinks. “Thank you, but…what is it, exactly?”

“It’s just flour, eggs, butter, milk and some sugar too.” Luz offers, taking a ladle and spooning some more mixture from a bowl by the stove into her pan. “They’re super tasty, I promise.”

Hesitantly, Lilith pulls a little but off the edge with her fork and puts it into her mouth, pleasantly surprised by how light it is. She smiles a little, cutting off a larger chunk and eating it. “This is delicious, Luz—you’re a very good cook.”

“Thank you!” Luz smiles. “It’s so cool that you’re Eda’s sister. I’ve always wanted a brother or sister but it’s just me and my Mum, which is great of course, but it would be cool to have a sibling too. Was it fun growing up together?”

Lilith keeps chewing and glances to her sister to answer that question. Eda seems to be considering it. “I guess it was fun. I wouldn’t have wanted to live in that huge house without you, you were my best friend but—” She leans a little forward and adds in a conspiratorial tone, “Lily was a bit of a crybaby, so—”

“I was not!” Lilith frowns. “Don’t listen to her, Luz the human. Edalyn may still be the biggest annoyance in my life that I still can’t shake.”

“And you don’t _want_ to shake, dear sissy.” Eda grins. “She acts all tough like she doesn’t like me but always comes running back here when she needs a hug. Isn’t that right, Lily?”

“That is not— _Edalyn!”_ Lilith narrows her eyes.

“Are you seriously denying that right now?”

“I’m not—I don’t just ‘ _need a hug’_ I—I need—you’re my—Ugh!” She shoves a big chunk of pancake in her mouth and chews angrily. The evil grin that is all too familiar on her sister’s face doesn’t help in the slightest.

Luz pushes the next pancake onto Eda’s plate. Lilith watches in horror as her sister cups the cake in her hand so there’s a little dip in the middle, pours a generous amount of syrup into it and the shoves the entire thing into her mouth in one go. Eda notices her staring and blinks. “What?” She asks, a little bit flying out her mouth as she does so.

Lilith physically recoils. “ _Why_ would you eat it like that?”

Eda narrows her eyes. “Stop _judging_ me.”

“You have cutlery, Edalyn!”

“I also have coasters but they’re pointless and no one uses them.” Lilith can’t quite look at her with all the food shoved in her mouth.

“I _use_ coasters because they protect tables. Honestly, you’re such a child—”

“Alright Miss ‘ _I use coasters_ ’—”

“It’s a _normal_ thing to use!”

“Is it normal for them to be like this?” Luz whispers to King who’s just finished his own breakfast, handing him a paper towel to wipe his sticky paws.

King takes it. “They don’t see each other much but…yeah. It’s _always_ like this.”

A knock at the door startles the sisters in their bickering, and Luz’s eyes light up in excitement. “Are we expecting someone?” Eda asks, swallowing way too much pancake in one go. Lilith shudders, watching her.

“I reminded you last night.” Luz says, walking towards the door where they can hear Hooty rattling on. “Amity’s coming to study for our carnivorous plant biology test, remember?”

Lilith chokes on her pancake and Eda whacks her back which causes her to wheeze out a disturbed cry of surprise, Luz watches the entire interaction with the kind of curiosity one might watch two animals at the zoo with, before shaking her head and opening the door to her friend. “Hey Amity! Come in.”

“I need too—I need—” Lilith grabs the counter and forces herself to her feet, holding one hand to her heart. “ _Go.”_

“Ah—shit. Yeah.” Eda takes her hand and quickly pulls her sister through the doorway and towards the back of the house. Last night was rough and…well, Lilith doesn’t need to face any of her problems yet if she doesn’t want to.

Amity watches Eda and what appears to be Miss Clawthorne sneak off behind a door and frowns. “Is that…Miss Clawthorne?”

“Eda’s sister? Yeah.” Luz says, going to find her schoolbag to fish out her textbook. “She was just _here_ this morning, and Eda told me to be extra nice to her. She must have slept over or something, I don’t know.”

“Hmm.” Amity considers continuing down that line of questioning but just shrugs it off. “Have you been over the legumes already, or would you rather we do it again?”

“I looked at it a bit, but…it’s taking be a while to get used to.” Luz takes her books and sits with Amity on the couch, pointing to a diagram that looks like a mixture of a broccoli and a tomato. “Why can’t it just photosynthesise? Plants are so much easier in the human world.”

Amity frowns. “That’s like saying why don’t you photosynthesise. You just _don’t._ ”

“But wouldn’t it be cool if we could?” Luz grins. “You could just have some water and go outside, and you’d be all energised! I mean, I would probably miss waffles and pancakes and…well, most food actually, but it would still be cool.” Her eyes widen. “Should we try it?”

“Maybe not? We do have a test to revise for.” Amity says, trying to downplay her smile. “I made some flashcards if you want to maybe test me?”

“Sure!” Luz takes the cards. “Okay, how many stomachs does a blood lily have?”

* * *

Eda finds her sister half dressed in her room and closes the door behind her.

“Can’t you knock?” Lilith fires out, though it lacks her usual bite.

“Well, it is my room.” Eda says. “I’m sorry I didn’t warn you about Amity coming—if I’m honest I just completely forgot about it. Luz is the organised one around here—or, more accurately, she’s the one who actually remembers crap like that.” She shakes her head at the thought of how messy a lot of Luz’s stuff can get. “Organised is _definitely_ the wrong word.”

Lilith yanks the strings on the back of her dress and gasps as it tightens significantly, before tugging them again.

“Hey, you’re already stupid skinny, you don’t need to leave the 3D world.” Eda says, taking the laces from Lilith and loosening them before gently tying them at her back. Lilith lets her, almost reluctantly, her hands restless and playing with each other in front of her.

“I didn’t—I wasn’t expecting to—” She draws in a long, harsh breath, willing herself not to cry. “I didn’t expect to…see her so soon.”

“I know.” Eda says, her tone with a certain softness it previously lacked. “And I’m sorry. I really should have remembered.”

“Well, it’s done now I suppose.” Lilith sighs. “And I’m meant to have a session tutoring her tonight anyway so it’s not like I could have waited much longer.”

“You actually tutor her?”

Lilith blinks and stares at her sister. “Yes, of course. She stays behind after school three days a week and I work with her.”

“Since when?”

“Since…well, since she was maybe ten? Her parents had been asking for me to tutor one of the twins for years and I never had any interest but when I first saw Amity I…well, I offered to take her only a few days after meeting her. I suppose they thought it was some way of showing favouritism to the Blights, but I am not so shallow.” She bites her lip. “But now I wonder if perhaps I chose her for some reason deeper than just raw potential.”

Eda shrugs. “Who knows. Maybe. But that begs the question of what you’re going to do when you have to face her tonight.”

Lilith sighs. “I could postpone. It would give me more time to think.”

“What’s there to think about, Lily? She’s your kid, Belos stole her from you, steal her back.”

“I can just—as ever, you are missing the intricacies of this situation. Believe me, there is nothing I’d like more than to tell her the truth and live happily ever after but whether I like it or not many years have passed, and Amity has a new family now, new parents and siblings. Me telling her anything right now might cause tension at home and—and I would be telling her for _me,_ not for her. It would be selfish.”

“Lily, you know the Blight family better than I do. They’re hardly model parents—they spend like no time with their kids, especially not Amity. She’d be better off with you and I think you know it.”

“It’s not that simple, Eda!” She drops down onto the mattress and rests her head in her hands. More quietly, she adds: “And given how easily she was taken from me, I think you might be wrong about that.”

“Don’t— _don’t say that.”_ Eda kneels in front of her. “Look, I don’t know a lot about kids, but I know a lot about Luz, and Luz loves Amity, she’s always over here. I hear a lot from them, enough to know that Amity _loves you,_ so much, even if you don’t see it and given the kind of situation she has at home she’s desperate for a mother figure like you. Maybe…there’s a way to get her back without telling her the truth?”

Lilith rubs her eyes. “Like…what?”

“Well I know it’s a little unorthodox, but you could offer a more…traditional apprenticeship, like what me and Luz have.”

The blue haired woman snorts. “I would hardly call what you and Luz have _traditional_.”

“The idea of the apprentice moving to spend everyday with their teacher is very traditional.” Eda says. “Granted, me and Luz just kinda fell into it, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it properly. Offer the formal apprenticeship bond—do all those silly promises and the stupid ceremony and take her on as your own. You’d get her back, even if it’s not quite…in the way you want.”

“Do you…” Lilith sniffs, looking up at her sister with a slither of hope in her eyes. “Do you think she’d agree to something like that? I really don’t want to overstep my bounds with her, or make her feel uncomfortable—”

Eda holds up a hand to stop her. “Lily, that girl practically worships you. I think she’ll jump at the opportunity.”

“And what if she says no?”

“Then nothing changes, and you still see her three times a week.”

“But it’ll be…awkward.”

Eda sighs. “Lily, you make everything awkward. I’m sure it won’t be much different than normal.”

Lilith glares at her sister but inwardly starts to seriously think about what Eda’s saying. It’s…actually quite a good suggestion, and aside from her fear of Amity’s rejection, she thinks, if the girl goes for it, it might be perfect. She’s not ready to tell her student— _daughter_ —the truth about everything but that doesn’t mean she can’t take some steps to improve their relationship. If what Eda says about her living situation with the Blights is true—that they spend very little time with their children—then surely, it’s almost a _good_ thing that she’s…volunteering to bear some of that weight?

The more she ponders it, the more the wonders how two parents could possibly not want to spend all available time with their children. Well—that’s a lie, she can certainly imagine this kind of avoidance if you have a difficult, troublesome child like many of Amity’s schoolmates but Amity herself is clever, imaginative and hardworking—a testament to the Boiling Isles education system if not the leadership, which she is quickly coming to resent.

Or maybe it’s not a testament to the education system. Maybe it’s a testament to Amity, that her child is the best of them all, and she can proclaim this unbiasedly since she up until recently had no reason to be prejudiced.

Lilith stands and gently touches her sister’s arm after a long moment, giving her a tight smile of appreciation. “Thank you, Eda. I think…I think I might talk to her now. To, you know, get it over and done with.”

“That’s a good idea.” Eda smiles. “Try not to worry about it, okay? She’s going to say yes.”

“I wish had your confidence.”

“Want to borrow some? I’ve got plenty to spare.”

“Just this once, I wish you could indulge me.”

* * *

Lilith finds Amity downstairs going through flashcards with Luz and feels almost guilty about having to pull her aside since they seem to be having a very good time. She stops at the doorframe for a moment, her hand wrapping around the wood just tightly enough to be a little painful, and for the first time she properly looks at Amity Blight.

Her hair is dyed green, like the rest of the Blight’s natural colour, but the red roots that are peeking through are clearly Clawthorne now she’s thinking about it. Not that anyone would really know that anymore since her parents are dead and neither she nor Eda still have the colour they were born with. And her eyes, a pale yet warm amber colour, are almost identical to Eda’s and their mothers before her— _gods,_ she looks _just_ like any daughter of Lilith’s should.

The witch shakes her head and clears her throat, letting the girls be aware of her presence. Luz looks up with a smile. “Hey, Miss Lilith! Are you going?”

“I will in a little white, but first I was actually hoping that I might…” She trails off, her mouth suddenly feeling very dry, but there are two expectant girls looking at her so she can’t just stop. “Have a quick word with Amity? If that’s alright?”

Luz looks to Amity who nods. “Of course, Miss Clawthorne.”

The title tastes bitter in Lilith’s mouth even though Amity’s never called her anything else, but even so she nods and forces a smile, leading the girl to the kitchen area where they’ll be out of earshot. Luz seems too preoccupied trying to take a pastry away from King to even be trying to eavesdrop as it is.

“Is this about our lesson tonight?” Amity asks when Lilith doesn’t say anything for a little too long.

She shakes her head. “No…I actually, there was something I was speaking to Eda about recently and I—” She can’t quite force herself to meet Amity’s eyes no matter how hard she tries. “Their relationship as teacher and apprentice is…unique, and yet there are elements of it that are deeply traditional. I’m sure you know how things used to be before the coven system came about, how an adult witch would take on a single young student as an apprentice and raise them to adulthood in an arrangement not dissimilar to the one my sister has formed here with Luz.”

Amity nods. “Yes, of course. But the practice isn’t common now because we have public schools instead.”

“Yes, that’s true, and the school system is…effective.” Lilith replies. “But that isn’t to say there aren’t merits in the old ways too…the one on one teaching was the source of some of the most powerful witches in history and allows the teacher to be more attentive to the students individuality. I personally believe that witches might flourish best under this kind of tutelage, just look at your friend Luz. She has come so far so quickly even with…” She hesitates, considering her next statement. “A teacher with priorities other than education.”

Amity tries to hide an amused smile at that. “I…suppose.”

“What I’m trying to say is,” Lilith folds her hands behind her back. “Would you yourself ever perhaps want to be part of…that kind of arrangement.”

“An apprenticeship?” It’s endearing to Lilith that despite the topic of conversation Amity clearly didn’t see that coming at all. “With me to…you?”

Lilith nods. “Yes. You don’t have to, of course, please don’t feel obliged—”

“ _An apprenticeship!_ ” Amity’s eyes go wide in unforeseen excitement. “Do you really mean it, Miss Clawthorne? That I could be your apprentice?”

The older witch smiles genuinely this time. “There’s nothing I’d like more. Of course we’ll have to talk to your parents first.” She has no doubt that her parents will jump at the opportunity to have their daughter apprenticed to the head of the emperor’s coven. Not that Lilith particularly likes that title anymore, the thought of serving the man who took everything from her makes her feel ill but leaving dramatically with no explanation wouldn’t be good for anyone and for now her being closer to Amity relies on her status. “And there is the rite of apprenticeship we must go through, but we can do that whenever you like.”

“I don’t think Luz and Eda went through the rite.” Amity says.

“As I said: unique.” Lilith replies. “But I personally would prefer to do things as they have always been done, if that’s alright with you.”

Amity beams. “It’s more than al—yes, of course. I—I would love that. I just can’t believe it, that you want _me._ ”

Lilith frowns. “You sound surprised. You shouldn’t be—you’re a powerful young witch with potential coming out of your ears. I would be a fool not to recognise it.” From what Eda told her and this reaction, something tells Lilith that Amity doesn’t get a ton of recognition at home.

“It’s just—nothing. Thank you. Thank you _so_ much.”

* * *

The rite—ancient and predominantly symbolic ritual to signify an apprentice being chosen—takes place about a week and a half later. It’s mostly done in the old demonic tongue that isn’t taught in the schools (though Lilith thinks it should be) and uses an old enchanted cloth to bind the arms of mentor and student, a promise of protection and guardianship, obedience and respect. The feeling of that sort of arcane magic running through Lilith’s veins is euphoric and so much better than she ever could have imagined, but nothing compared to the thought that she’s one step closer to getting her child back.

Her own house is ancestral and enormous, so there’s more than enough room for Amity and she gives the girl her pick of the rooms. In a way that warms Lilith’s heart a little, Amity unconsciously chooses the room closest to her own—the one that had once been her nursery.

“If you ever need anything, at any time, please don’t hesitate to ask.” Lilith says. “I am always here for anything you might need.”

Amity smiles, clutching her last box of stuff close to her chest. “Thank you, Miss Clawthorne. I…just, thank you, for everything.”

“You don’t have to call me Miss Clawthorne anymore, if you don’t want to. Lilith will do.” Lilith offers, feeling suddenly uneasy about her offer at the expression the girl makes at it. “Or you can still call me Miss Clawthrone! If you want to. If it makes you feel more comfortable.”

“No, it’s okay Miss—I mean, _Lilith._ ” Amity smiles shyly at her. “I just always thought—oh no, that’s stupid.” She shakes her name, blushing.

Lilith raises an eyebrow. “You thought—?”

“I just always wished my parents named me after a great witch of the past, and there is no one greater than Lilith—she was the first woman, the first witch! I just think it’s so cool that your name is Lilith too.” Amity says.

“I didn’t like it so much as a child. It felt like a lot to live up to.” Lilith says. “But Amity is a beautiful name too, I think you should be proud of it.”

Amity shrugs and leans back against the doorframe of new room. “It could be worse, I guess. Did you know that Emira means _princess?_ ”

“I did not.” A grin slips its way onto Lilith’s expression. “Though it is a little fitting in regard to your sister.”

Amity giggles. “It is, isn’t it?”

She turns into her new room and sets the box down on the floor. “I’ll leave you to settle in.” Lilith says, with a gentle smile. “Tell me what you would like for dinner later and I’ll order it.” Cooking for Amity would be more of a punishment than a nicety.

“Thank you Mi—Lilith.” Amity nods to her, watching as the older woman heads downstairs presumably to do whatever the head of the Emperor’s coven does on weekends. She turns to the room around her and lets out a content sigh—it’s simple for now, but it’ll look like her own soon enough.

She pulls out the poster of Lilith she used to have on her wall from the box and feels herself flush. It might look a little weird to have a poster of her mentor up in her mentor’s own house, so she shoves it under her bed and goes back to the box, pulling out her training wand, some loose clothes and her little stuffed demon. It might be a little embarrassing to have it, but Amity prefers to sleep with him, so stuffs him underneath her pillow.

Amity stacks all her Azura books on the shelf, plus all her spell and sketchbooks, deciding to keep her diary alongside. It’ll be nice to be able to keep it somewhere without having to worry about her brother and sister stealing it,

It’ll be nice to live without having to worry about her brother and sister stealing _anything._

She will miss them, though, and Emira made her promise to come and have lunch with them at school at least twice a week. How long that will last Amity isn’t sure, mostly because aside from being related she really doesn’t have a lot in common with her siblings and it might become a little tedious, but she’s certainly willing to give it a try.

“You’re going to be happy here.” Amity tells herself, flopping back against her new bad with pulling her demon from under the pillow, holding him to her chest tightly. She smiles. “Really happy.”

* * *

Lilith is writing a letter when, to her surprise, Owlbert swings through her window and lands gracefully on her desk with a tied note in his beak. Lilith gingerly accepts it, a little confused, and unravels the paper. Despite the lack of writing decorum, she can tell from the surprisingly nice handwriting that Eda wrote this herself.

_Okay, Lily, so Luz wanted me to ask if your kid can come over for dinner tonight. Or tomorrow. Whenever. But she wants to see her so I said I’d send this._

_Just show up whenever._

Lilith sighs and drops the brief message, standing up and deciding to ask Amity what she’d like to do. She had planned to just order something in (her own eating schedule and diet is not healthy whatsoever, and she’s trying to rectify that for the sake of the child now living under her roof) but eating at Eda’s might be a welcome alternative. She goes back upstairs and knocks on Amity’s door, finding her arranging the books on her shelf when she says, “Come in!”

“Is everything how you like it?” Lilith asks her, first.

Amity nods. “Once I get these books in alphabetical order, I’ll be able to sleep easy.”

Lilith smiles. “Good. I came to ask if you’d like to have dinner at your human friend’s house. I just got an invitation from Eda.”

The young witch smiles. “Really? Oh, that would be great. Are you coming too?”

“I doubt it—the invitation was for you, my dear.” She says. “But I’ll certainly take you and pick you up. It’ll be no trouble at all.”

Amity looks a little disheartened at that. “…Oh.”

“But we’ll have plenty of meals here, I promise. I’m sure you’ll be sick of me in a week.” Lilith adds quickly. “If you want to go, please don’t stop yourself on my account. You’ll have fun.”

Amity grins. “Okay.”

Lilith smiles back at her. “Good.”

As it happens, Eda practically forces her to stay with them anyway using an excuse on the lines of: “You expect me to deal with two teenage girls and a demon on my own?” Even though Lilith knows she would be perfectly capable of it, especially with a well-behaved girl like Amity, she elects to indulge her sister. She loves Eda and enjoys spending time with her even if she does trigger every hair on Lilith’s bone to stand on end with her blasphemous meal etiquette.

She doesn’t tell Amity the truth, but she doesn’t need to, at least not yet.

Things are fine as they are.

Things are _happy_ as they are.


End file.
